Last Night

"don't just complete, complete."

I'm not really sure what this means. But one of my instructors told us to write it in the front of our journals at the beginning. I've been thinking about it a lot, and have come to the conclusion it means, to do what you came to do. Don't just go out there and "compete", or just go through the motions of what it's supposed to be. Go out on that floor and complete it. Complete the show. Complete your goals. Complete everything. Leave it all on the floor and walk away knowing you did everything you could. You performed the best you could, you did that toss that you've struggled with all season correctly, you completed it. Maybe that's what Brandon meant, maybe it isn't. But that's what it meant to me.

Calico is... TRUST

As a whole, Calico is a lot of things. Calico Winterguard is a hodgepodge of people coming in from different places, different talents, different backgrounds and making one guard. We all have words that describe what Calico is. My word is trust. Brandon suggested it to me, and after thinking about it, I decided to take his advice. I know exactly why he wanted me to have it. I don't trust anything. I don't trust myself, I don't trust my flag, and I don't trust some of my guard members. Trust is everything when it comes to colorguard or winterguard. I have to trust that when I let go of my flag it will do what it is supposed to. I have to trust myself that I can do things no matter how crazy they seem when Lizzie teaches it. I have to trust that April and I WILL make that spot to get that exchange toss out. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. Now... for last night.

We had a four and half hour practice that turned into five and half hours. It started okay-ishly. It seemed that Lizzie was just in a bad mood, and if the instructor is in a bad mood, then usually you're doomed. But, somehow, her mood turned around. We stretched, did strength training, and then ran to a stupid Justin Bieber song. Oh well. As long as I get skinny for this uniform, I'll be wonderful! Across the floors were okay, but, that's not the part that's really changing. We did our flag basics and I managed to perform the entire thing. Like. Smiling. Even when I messed up the left-handed peggy tosses, twice. It felt... nice. Then she made us practice the Holy Spirit toss. I just want you to know, that this is a scary toss who's release point is directly in front of your face. But, both Brandon and Lizzie are telling me things that I'm doing wrong and how to fix them. I need for people to do that. It doesn't bother me at all. Unless you stand there and go, "Don't do this." ... "You did it again." "You did it again." ... Yes, I got it. It takes time to figure it out, okay? I love help, but don't be obnoxious about it. That's probably why I ask my Big to help me a lot. xD She somehow has a way to help me that works well. I don't know. WE WERE JUST MEANT TO BE FRIENDS. I think that's what it is.

Actual drill/equipment rehearsal went okay, but my ending drill changed so now I'm running a marathon. I want my old drill back! ): I didn't move much at all! And I was near my brother (not really brother, we have a Calico family. I love my life.) and he almost kills me a lot! I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. I can not deal with having to run, grab a piece draaaaaag it to the back and then run to the front in time to do a turn-around-catch-on-the-knee one and a half toss. I just legitly fell over on the floor feeling like I wanted to diiiie. If I'm not skinny by the end of this, I am going to disown Lizzie as my Grand-Big. Not even lying.

... I really need to get off of here and get ready for our Calico roadblock. So later! Peace off and be well. (: